62

Sleeping Accomodations

Men who are forced to occupy close living quarters should not occupy the same bed. In all situations, the floor should be preferred.

However, if it becomes infeasible to do so, wearing sweat pants or other fully-covering garment of clothing is necessary.

57

The Shoe Rule

It is punishable to ’shame’ someone who has passed out at a party, but only if their shoes are off.

If a man passes out with his shoes on, he has incorrectly factored the delicate balance of his sleep requirements, alcohol tolerance, and testicular fortitude. He is open to all forms of shaming – points added for creativity.

67

Poker

Every man will know how to play poker, and understand the rank of hands.

Betting is not necessary to be manly, but a true man will have, at least once in his life, play a poker/blackjack session with real stakes.

138

Secrecy

A man must claim ignorance on the whereabouts of the fellow man when asked by his wife, girlfriend or significant other.

This law is intrinsic and automatically applies without having to be asked.

Notable exceptions:

  • A man may divulge a fellow man’s whereabouts in extraordinary situations including: natural disasters, personal emergencies, police intervention, etc.
  • This rule is null and void if the fellow man is in considerable debt to the man under question: this includes significant monetary or beer debt. However, this exception only is applicable once per debt, and cannot be used again until the fellow man as accrued another debt.

Violation of a man’s trust requires a tier 4 penalty for first offense, but a more severe penalty may be required if significant repercussions occur by the divulging of information.

415

A Friend’s Ex

A friend’s ex girlfriend is off limits unless any of the following conditions are met:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least one other man.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).

A man’s ex wife is completely off limits, punishable up to tier 7.

43

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

220

Grilling

Grilling is the manly choice for all forms of cooking.

Anything can be grilled.

Even birthday cake.

117

Picking Sports Teams

When playing a sport, it is customary to elect two captains and stand the remaining individuals in line. First choice is determined by coin flip or other agreement of your choice.

Both captains alternate in picking members of their team until no choices remain.

If acting as captain, you may pick superior athletes over your buddy for a few rounds in order to preserve the athletic potential of your team, however it is improper to allow your buddy to be last picked. This is classified as a dick move.

59

Road Trip Pit Stops

When on a road trip, major logistical decisions may be made by the driver of the vehicle. Decisions can only be overruled by the owner of the vehicle.

This includes food and urination breaks. However, should the driver abuse his power and the vehicle becomes soiled, the driver will take full responsibility. With this considered, it is prudent of a driver to use discretion and to be reasonable

195

Violence

In all situations, it is a man’s duty to protect himself and those around him.

If a man is seen or known to be physically abusing a woman or child, it is your duty to recruit enough fellow men to whoop his ass.

The Testicular Protection code does not apply, and you are allowed and expected to inflict any amount of pain possible in order to subdue and inform the man of his transgressions.

 

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