The Shoe Rule

It is punishable to ‘shame’ someone who has passed out at a party, but only if their shoes are off.

If a man passes out with his shoes on, he has incorrectly factored the delicate balance of his sleep requirements, alcohol tolerance, and testicular fortitude. He is open to all forms of shaming – points added for creativity.

A Friend’s Beer and Temperature

A man has the right to stock the beer of his choice in his refrigerator.

No bitching will be permitted about another man’s choice of beer. This is inclusive of the man’s choice in bottles, kegs or cans.

Notable exeptions:

  • Bitching is accepted and encouraged if the said beer is not served at a proper temperatures:
    • Serve fruit beers at 40-50° F.
    • Serve wheat beers and pale lagers at 45-50° F.
    • Serve pale ales and amber or dark lagers at 50-55° F.
    • Serve strong ales, such as barley wines and Belgian ales, at 50-55° F.
    • Serve dark ales, including porters and stouts, at 55-60° F.

Best Man’s Toast

A Best Man’s Toast shall not include any material that can be potentially harmful for the victim’s relationship with his family or new wife.

Stories that begin with statements such as “This one time in Vegas…”, “That was the first time he got crabs…”, etc. shall be very discouraged.

Punishment will be determined by a court of fellow men.

Hot Girl Proximity

If you detect the presence of an attractive girl (7 or better), it is your duty and obligation to silently nudge your buddy and indicate.

No words are needed, just silent appreciation.

Going Commando

A man may only go Commando if returning from something awesome. No exceptions.

Borrowing

A friend of a man will be permitted to borrow any item of a fellow man’s under certain condtions.

  • The borrower has given 24-hour notice if the item is used on a daily basis by the owner.
  • The borrower has given 12-hour notice if the item is used occasionally by the owner.
  • The borrower may ask for immediate lending if the item is rarely used by the owner.

The item may be refused for lending only if any of the following conditions are met;

  • The item has intrinsic value as a family heirloom or keepsake.
  • The item is extremely delicate.
  • The item cannot be operated without certain training (this doesn’t apply to tools as any man has inherited skill as a craftsmen).
  • The item is a wife or girlfriend, which likely makes the former three conditions apply.

Assault on Testicles

The testicles are sacred. They are the source of our power, the inspiration of the code and the link to future generations. They are to be respected and protected.

Thus, the assault of one man on anothers’ testicles shall only be employed in situations of life or death. In a fist fight or other non-lethal altercation, testicles remain off limits. Only when you fear the loss of your own or anothers’ life may you use an attack on the testicles to dispatch your aggressor.

There is some tolerance for acts such as ‘dapping’ or falsified attempt on causing serious testicular harm, however, deliberate and unwarranted attacks on another man’s junk are a tier 8 offense.

The 10 Minute Rule

When sharing a room with another man, there is always the possibility that he will bring a woman in to the room to fool around. This is always accepted, encouraged and praised.

When this is a possibility, a man must respect the 10 Minute Rule by knocking on the door. The man inside must indicate whether it is clear to enter. If no response is heard, a man must wait up to 10 minutes before unlocking the door and entering.

This favor must always be repayed.

This rule is void if the girl is your buddy’s girlfriend.

A Buddy’s Sister

A friend’s sister is completely off limits for all forms of dating activity unless the intent of marriage is provable to a court of fellow men.

For the above statement, a man is officially your friend when you have met any of the following conditions:

  • You have bought more than 1 drink for this person in the past month.
  • You have invited this person to a party, sporting event or music venue.
  • You have had any form of a man-date.
  • You have spent more than 60 minutes in conversation with this person by choice (i.e., not stuck seated adjacent on a transcontinental flight, etc.)
  • You have ever referred to this person by any of the following terms: bro, buddy, chief, this guy I know.

Notable Exceptions: The friend in question has the right to grant consent in allowing you to pursue his sister, but should not do so lightly, as a one-time consent is permanently valid and irrevocable.

Punishments:

  • Making his sister cry: The brother may swing at you up to three punches before you may engage in any form physical defense or offense. This is a tier 7 offense.
  • Making his sister pregnant: The brother may enlist as many other men as he chooses in order to start an altercation with you. At the brother’s discretion, they may beat you to any extent except death, as you will be required by man-code to provide financial support until the baby has graduated from Harvard. This is a tier 9 offense.

Picking Sports Teams

When playing a sport, it is customary to elect two captains and stand the remaining individuals in line. First choice is determined by coin flip or other agreement of your choice.

Both captains alternate in picking members of their team until no choices remain.

If acting as captain, you may pick superior athletes over your buddy for a few rounds in order to preserve the athletic potential of your team, however it is improper to allow your buddy to be last picked. This is classified as a dick move.