197

Grilling

Grilling is the manly choice for all forms of cooking.

Anything can be grilled.

Even birthday cake.

83

Preventing Hookups

Sometimes, it may be necessary for a friend’s integrity to intervene before he hooks up with a woman. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including inability to recognize his own beer goggles, the girls 7′0″ 300 lb boyfriend, or that strange bulge in her pants that your buddy has overlooked.

When choosing to intervene, you may only do so when the act of intervention renders both of you unable to hookup. In other words, it cannot be performed in a competitive nature:

  • You may turn the lights on.
  • You may discontinue your friend from drinking.
  • You may not slip in to the conversation while your buddy is in the bathroom.
135

Long Phone Conversations

A man shall spend no more time on the phone with a woman than he can have sex with her.

If you can make it 60 minutes, well then props to you, fellow man.

97

Messing Around with your Buddy’s Girl

Any form of sexual interaction with your buddy’s girlfriend is punishable beyond the man code. You will need to refer to your state’s Crimes of Passion laws.

There are a few exceptions that decrease the severity of the transgression (similiar to ‘A Friend’s Ex‘:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least two other men.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).
102

Steak

Points to remember about steak.

  • Minimum of 8 ounces to be considered manly.
  • Must be barbecued.
  • There are no leftovers.
  • Eating gristle makes you manlier.
136

Holding Her Purse

It is not permissible for a man to hold a purse for a woman for more minutes than the woman scores on the classic 1-10 hotness scale.

Men are encourages to enforce the statement: “You brought it, you carry it.

165

Violence

In all situations, it is a man’s duty to protect himself and those around him.

If a man is seen or known to be physically abusing a woman or child, it is your duty to recruit enough fellow men to whoop his ass.

The Testicular Protection code does not apply, and you are allowed and expected to inflict any amount of pain possible in order to subdue and inform the man of his transgressions.

254

Assault on Testicles

The testicles are sacred. They are the source of our power, the inspiration of the code and the link to future generations. They are to be respected and protected.

Thus, the assault of one man on anothers’ testicles shall only be employed in situations of life or death. In a fist fight or other non-lethal altercation, testicles remain off limits. Only when you fear the loss of your own or anothers’ life may you use an attack on the testicles to dispatch your aggressor.

There is some tolerance for acts such as ‘dapping’ or falsified attempt on causing serious testicular harm, however, deliberate and unwarranted attacks on another man’s junk are a tier 8 offense.

-53

Bail Money

Should a friend ever be arrested and jailed for a period of more than 1 night, it is the obligation of a man to post bail money up to 3 months pay.

Notable exceptions:

  • It is the expectation that should the defendant’s act not have violated any of the man code, an honorably friend would have participated in the act and should be jailed also.
391

A Friend’s Ex

A friend’s ex girlfriend is off limits unless any of the following conditions are met:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least one other man.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).

A man’s ex wife is completely off limits, punishable up to tier 7.

 

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