119

Facial Hair

Facial hair should always be considered the manly choice. However, it must be done in a superior manner:

Like this: Not like this:
Sam Elliott Wimpy
391

A Friend’s Ex

A friend’s ex girlfriend is off limits unless any of the following conditions are met:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least one other man.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).

A man’s ex wife is completely off limits, punishable up to tier 7.

131

Tools

Tools: The more, the manlier. A man spends his extra money on tools.

Every man’s toolbox is custom for his interests and needs, but every man must have the following in his toolbox.

  • Duct tape – For when it moves but shouldn’t.
  • WD40 – For when it doesn’t move but should.
30

The 10 Minute Rule

When sharing a room with another man, there is always the possibility that he will bring a woman in to the room to fool around. This is always accepted, encouraged and praised.

When this is a possibility, a man must respect the 10 Minute Rule by knocking on the door. The man inside must indicate whether it is clear to enter. If no response is heard, a man must wait up to 10 minutes before unlocking the door and entering.

This favor must always be repayed.

This rule is void if the girl is your buddy’s girlfriend.

60

A Friend’s Beer and Temperature

A man has the right to stock the beer of his choice in his refrigerator.

No bitching will be permitted about another man’s choice of beer. This is inclusive of the man’s choice in bottles, kegs or cans.

Notable exeptions:

  • Bitching is accepted and encouraged if the said beer is not served at a proper temperatures:
    • Serve fruit beers at 40-50° F.
    • Serve wheat beers and pale lagers at 45-50° F.
    • Serve pale ales and amber or dark lagers at 50-55° F.
    • Serve strong ales, such as barley wines and Belgian ales, at 50-55° F.
    • Serve dark ales, including porters and stouts, at 55-60° F.
79

Best Man’s Toast

A Best Man’s Toast shall not include any material that can be potentially harmful for the victim’s relationship with his family or new wife.

Stories that begin with statements such as “This one time in Vegas…”, “That was the first time he got crabs…”, etc. shall be very discouraged.

Punishment will be determined by a court of fellow men.

29

Borrowing

A friend of a man will be permitted to borrow any item of a fellow man’s under certain condtions.

  • The borrower has given 24-hour notice if the item is used on a daily basis by the owner.
  • The borrower has given 12-hour notice if the item is used occasionally by the owner.
  • The borrower may ask for immediate lending if the item is rarely used by the owner.

The item may be refused for lending only if any of the following conditions are met;

  • The item has intrinsic value as a family heirloom or keepsake.
  • The item is extremely delicate.
  • The item cannot be operated without certain training (this doesn’t apply to tools as any man has inherited skill as a craftsmen).
  • The item is a wife or girlfriend, which likely makes the former three conditions apply.
98

Picking Sports Teams

When playing a sport, it is customary to elect two captains and stand the remaining individuals in line. First choice is determined by coin flip or other agreement of your choice.

Both captains alternate in picking members of their team until no choices remain.

If acting as captain, you may pick superior athletes over your buddy for a few rounds in order to preserve the athletic potential of your team, however it is improper to allow your buddy to be last picked. This is classified as a dick move.

44

Road Trip Pit Stops

When on a road trip, major logistical decisions may be made by the driver of the vehicle. Decisions can only be overruled by the owner of the vehicle.

This includes food and urination breaks. However, should the driver abuse his power and the vehicle becomes soiled, the driver will take full responsibility. With this considered, it is prudent of a driver to use discretion and to be reasonable

135

Long Phone Conversations

A man shall spend no more time on the phone with a woman than he can have sex with her.

If you can make it 60 minutes, well then props to you, fellow man.

 

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