159

Long Phone Conversations

A man shall spend no more time on the phone with a woman than he can have sex with her.

If you can make it 60 minutes, well then props to you, fellow man.

73

Women’s Driving Skill

It shall not be considered chauvinism to accuse a woman or the entire gender of inability to drive.

There are simply skills that each gender holds alone. Women can do some amazing things, but driving is simply not one of them.

Men are spacial, women are verbal. We cannot be expected to effectively communicate, but damnit, we know where our back bumper is.

Chauvinism
77

Cats and Dogs

Dogs are and shall always be man’s best friend.

Cats are plotting to kill you.

A dog is a man’s true companion. You will risk your life to save your dog’s, as he would do the same. He will be there when your woman leaves, when your car dies and when your team loses the Super Bowl by 1 point.

The cat is not a pet, it’s a mutineer, and it’s plotting to end your life as your sleep. Always keep a watchful eye.

402

A Friend’s Ex

A friend’s ex girlfriend is off limits unless any of the following conditions are met:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least one other man.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).

A man’s ex wife is completely off limits, punishable up to tier 7.

-53

Bail Money

Should a friend ever be arrested and jailed for a period of more than 1 night, it is the obligation of a man to post bail money up to 3 months pay.

Notable exceptions:

  • It is the expectation that should the defendant’s act not have violated any of the man code, an honorably friend would have participated in the act and should be jailed also.
-247

Choosing a Career

A man must pursue a manly career. The following is a ranking of the top 10 manliest career paths:

10. Fireman
9. Alaskan Crab Fisherman
8. Blackhawk Pilot
7. Sharpshooter
6. Cigar Roller
5. Brewmaster
4. Marine Sniper
3. Lumberjack
2. Ninja
1. Pirate

50

Road Trip Pit Stops

When on a road trip, major logistical decisions may be made by the driver of the vehicle. Decisions can only be overruled by the owner of the vehicle.

This includes food and urination breaks. However, should the driver abuse his power and the vehicle becomes soiled, the driver will take full responsibility. With this considered, it is prudent of a driver to use discretion and to be reasonable

38

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

144

Holding Her Purse

It is not permissible for a man to hold a purse for a woman for more minutes than the woman scores on the classic 1-10 hotness scale.

Men are encourages to enforce the statement: “You brought it, you carry it.

86

Use of a GPS Device

It has been determined in the past that use of a map is not acceptable by a code-following man. However, with the advent of portable GPS devices, a decision between the map rule and a man’s right to the use of his toys must be made.

So, unless agreed upon otherwise, the use of a GPS will be neutral and will not make the user appear less manly.

However, the ability to find a destination of over 50 miles away without the use of GPS will be a sign of great manliness and therefore, every man should strive to be an excellent navigator without the use of electronic devices.

 

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