25

Eating Healthy

Contrary to some man code, eating healthy is not unmanly. You should take care of your body, exercise it and work to improve your manliness.

However, avoid these pitfalls:

  • When choosing a healthy eating option, do not verbally express your disgust. i.e. “Ew, McDonalds is so bad for you, lets go somewhere to get a salad.” This makes you a bitch.
  • When looking over a menu, you may not request tofu or soy substitutions in the presence of other men.
  • Salads are only manly if they contain something that used to have a face.
85

Preventing Hookups

Sometimes, it may be necessary for a friend’s integrity to intervene before he hooks up with a woman. This can happen for a variety of reasons, including inability to recognize his own beer goggles, the girls 7′0″ 300 lb boyfriend, or that strange bulge in her pants that your buddy has overlooked.

When choosing to intervene, you may only do so when the act of intervention renders both of you unable to hookup. In other words, it cannot be performed in a competitive nature:

  • You may turn the lights on.
  • You may discontinue your friend from drinking.
  • You may not slip in to the conversation while your buddy is in the bathroom.
42

Brand Logos

A man may not be seen with more than one clothing brand logo without endorsement.

This includes the logos of Nike, Hollister, AE, Airwalk, Adidas, etc.

This applies to clothing brands only, you are encouraged to display signs of your favorite beer or sports team whenever possible.

-53

Bail Money

Should a friend ever be arrested and jailed for a period of more than 1 night, it is the obligation of a man to post bail money up to 3 months pay.

Notable exceptions:

  • It is the expectation that should the defendant’s act not have violated any of the man code, an honorably friend would have participated in the act and should be jailed also.
119

Steak

Points to remember about steak.

  • Minimum of 8 ounces to be considered manly.
  • Must be barbecued.
  • There are no leftovers.
  • Eating gristle makes you manlier.
72

Hiding Beer

Beer or other alcoholic beverages may not be hidden in the refrigerator under any circumstances. It is acceptable for the owner to request other beverages be consumed first, but in the event of a shortage, all beer is fair game.

Hiding beer is a Tier 3 infraction.

149

Hooking Up in a Friend’s Bed

Hooking Up in a friend’s bed is discourgaed.

If it happens, a complete washing of sheets is required.

90

Bathroom Etiquette

Two men may only exchange conversation in the bathroom when performing the same tasks, both peeing, both washing hands, etc.

When choosing a urinal, a man shall always attempt to leave at least one empty urinal between him and the next user. If this is impossible, it is still imperative that the man looks directly in front of him.

This is for safety’s sake, and echo’s the Zipper law.

77

Women’s Driving Skill

It shall not be considered chauvinism to accuse a woman or the entire gender of inability to drive.

There are simply skills that each gender holds alone. Women can do some amazing things, but driving is simply not one of them.

Men are spacial, women are verbal. We cannot be expected to effectively communicate, but damnit, we know where our back bumper is.

Chauvinism
127

Meat

Meat is manly, and all vegetarians may be excessively mocked under man code.

Rules to live by for men:

  • Refer to the steak laws.
  • Tofu shall never be a substitute.
  • Keep is simple – beer, steak sauce, salt and pepper are all good with beer, but Tabbouleh with finely chopped parsely is probably unmanly.
  • Meat shall always be grilled and/or cooked over an open fire.
  • It is encouraged to kill your own meat (your girlfriend’s cat inclusively).
 

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