216

Grilling

Grilling is the manly choice for all forms of cooking.

Anything can be grilled.

Even birthday cake.

40

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

-52

Bail Money

Should a friend ever be arrested and jailed for a period of more than 1 night, it is the obligation of a man to post bail money up to 3 months pay.

Notable exceptions:

  • It is the expectation that should the defendant’s act not have violated any of the man code, an honorably friend would have participated in the act and should be jailed also.
279

DUFF – Designated Ugly/Fat Friend

…aka falling on the grenade.

A man who is performing the wingman duty is obligated to entertain the designated ugly or fat friend (DUFF) of the girl his buddy is trying to score with.

This duty can range anywhere from buying a drink to leaving the bar with her.

Should one thing lead to another, and the wingman ends up hooking up with the DUFF, an immediate vow of silence is understood and the wingman shall never hear of it again.

90

A Buddy’s Sister

A friend’s sister is completely off limits for all forms of dating activity unless the intent of marriage is provable to a court of fellow men.

For the above statement, a man is officially your friend when you have met any of the following conditions:

  • You have bought more than 1 drink for this person in the past month.
  • You have invited this person to a party, sporting event or music venue.
  • You have had any form of a man-date.
  • You have spent more than 60 minutes in conversation with this person by choice (i.e., not stuck seated adjacent on a transcontinental flight, etc.)
  • You have ever referred to this person by any of the following terms: bro, buddy, chief, this guy I know.

Notable Exceptions: The friend in question has the right to grant consent in allowing you to pursue his sister, but should not do so lightly, as a one-time consent is permanently valid and irrevocable.

Punishments:

  • Making his sister cry: The brother may swing at you up to three punches before you may engage in any form physical defense or offense. This is a tier 7 offense.
  • Making his sister pregnant: The brother may enlist as many other men as he chooses in order to start an altercation with you. At the brother’s discretion, they may beat you to any extent except death, as you will be required by man-code to provide financial support until the baby has graduated from Harvard. This is a tier 9 offense.
147

Holding Her Purse

It is not permissible for a man to hold a purse for a woman for more minutes than the woman scores on the classic 1-10 hotness scale.

Men are encourages to enforce the statement: “You brought it, you carry it.

149

Hooking Up in a Friend’s Bed

Hooking Up in a friend’s bed is discourgaed.

If it happens, a complete washing of sheets is required.

194

Violence

In all situations, it is a man’s duty to protect himself and those around him.

If a man is seen or known to be physically abusing a woman or child, it is your duty to recruit enough fellow men to whoop his ass.

The Testicular Protection code does not apply, and you are allowed and expected to inflict any amount of pain possible in order to subdue and inform the man of his transgressions.

42

Brand Logos

A man may not be seen with more than one clothing brand logo without endorsement.

This includes the logos of Nike, Hollister, AE, Airwalk, Adidas, etc.

This applies to clothing brands only, you are encouraged to display signs of your favorite beer or sports team whenever possible.

58

A Man’s Zipper

A man’s zipper is his own business.

If by accident, you notice another man’s fly is down, you didn’t see anything. It was your imagination. You may never admit to even momentarily looking in the vicinity of another man’s Savannah.

 

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