74

The 10 Minute Rule

When sharing a room with another man, there is always the possibility that he will bring a woman in to the room to fool around. This is always accepted, encouraged and praised.

When this is a possibility, a man must respect the 10 Minute Rule by knocking on the door. The man inside must indicate whether it is clear to enter. If no response is heard, a man must wait up to 10 minutes before unlocking the door and entering.

This favor must always be repayed.

This rule is void if the girl is your buddy’s girlfriend.

271

DUFF – Designated Ugly/Fat Friend

…aka falling on the grenade.

A man who is performing the wingman duty is obligated to entertain the designated ugly or fat friend (DUFF) of the girl his buddy is trying to score with.

This duty can range anywhere from buying a drink to leaving the bar with her.

Should one thing lead to another, and the wingman ends up hooking up with the DUFF, an immediate vow of silence is understood and the wingman shall never hear of it again.

35

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

204

Grilling

Grilling is the manly choice for all forms of cooking.

Anything can be grilled.

Even birthday cake.

73

Women’s Driving Skill

It shall not be considered chauvinism to accuse a woman or the entire gender of inability to drive.

There are simply skills that each gender holds alone. Women can do some amazing things, but driving is simply not one of them.

Men are spacial, women are verbal. We cannot be expected to effectively communicate, but damnit, we know where our back bumper is.

Chauvinism
76

Compliments

You may never compliment another man on his physical appearance.

It will not be accepted, for example, to compliment the diameter of another man’s bicep, as this can be misconstrued as a homosexual remark. Alternatively, you may compliment a man’s improvement at the gym.

Example:

Joe, you’re arms are looking huge. WRONG

Holy shit Joe, you did twice as many reps as last month. BETTER

In all situations, a silent nod will be acceptable.

55

Romantic Comedies and Chick Flicks

A man may be asked to participate in the viewing of romantic comedies, chick flicks, ‘Sex and the City’ re-runs etc. This is unacceptable behavior unless any of the following conditions are met:

  1. The pursuit of a physical rendezvous is contingent upon showing a woman your ’sensitive’ side.
  2. You truly suspect that the material could lead to an entertaining sex scene, gun-fight, explosion or Chuck-Norris-style ass-kicking.
  3. A recent disagreement with your lady-friend has required you to perform ‘relationship maintenance’ by spending quality time with her.

Noted clarifications:

  • A man shall not ever suggest the viewing of ‘chick flick’ material, and may only be caught viewing under someone woman’s recommendation.
  • The penalty for a man suggesting a movie of questionable manliness to his buddies is grounds for a ass-kicking, unless the man can provide a detailed synopsis of the above mentioned sex scene, gun-fight, explosion or Chuck-Norris-style ass-kicking.

If a man is caught watching a chick flick without meeting any of the above exceptions, the man who caught the infraction may dictate the tier of penalty, but no grater than tier 3 for first offense.

185

Violence

In all situations, it is a man’s duty to protect himself and those around him.

If a man is seen or known to be physically abusing a woman or child, it is your duty to recruit enough fellow men to whoop his ass.

The Testicular Protection code does not apply, and you are allowed and expected to inflict any amount of pain possible in order to subdue and inform the man of his transgressions.

126

Cheerleading

Cheerleading is only a spectator sport.

70

A Friend’s Beer and Temperature

A man has the right to stock the beer of his choice in his refrigerator.

No bitching will be permitted about another man’s choice of beer. This is inclusive of the man’s choice in bottles, kegs or cans.

Notable exeptions:

  • Bitching is accepted and encouraged if the said beer is not served at a proper temperatures:
    • Serve fruit beers at 40-50° F.
    • Serve wheat beers and pale lagers at 45-50° F.
    • Serve pale ales and amber or dark lagers at 50-55° F.
    • Serve strong ales, such as barley wines and Belgian ales, at 50-55° F.
    • Serve dark ales, including porters and stouts, at 55-60° F.
 

You need to log in to vote

The blog owner requires users to be logged in to be able to vote for this post.

Alternatively, if you do not have an account yet you can create one here.

Powered by Vote It Up