66

Cigars

Cigars are manly.

Every man should at least once in his life, smoke a premium cigar.

A man will not consider a premium cigar one he bought at a gas station.

A man will know how to cut and properly light the cigar.

132

Cheerleading

Cheerleading is only a spectator sport.

56

The Shoe Rule

It is punishable to ’shame’ someone who has passed out at a party, but only if their shoes are off.

If a man passes out with his shoes on, he has incorrectly factored the delicate balance of his sleep requirements, alcohol tolerance, and testicular fortitude. He is open to all forms of shaming – points added for creativity.

39

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

71

A Friend’s Beer and Temperature

A man has the right to stock the beer of his choice in his refrigerator.

No bitching will be permitted about another man’s choice of beer. This is inclusive of the man’s choice in bottles, kegs or cans.

Notable exeptions:

  • Bitching is accepted and encouraged if the said beer is not served at a proper temperatures:
    • Serve fruit beers at 40-50° F.
    • Serve wheat beers and pale lagers at 45-50° F.
    • Serve pale ales and amber or dark lagers at 50-55° F.
    • Serve strong ales, such as barley wines and Belgian ales, at 50-55° F.
    • Serve dark ales, including porters and stouts, at 55-60° F.
192

Violence

In all situations, it is a man’s duty to protect himself and those around him.

If a man is seen or known to be physically abusing a woman or child, it is your duty to recruit enough fellow men to whoop his ass.

The Testicular Protection code does not apply, and you are allowed and expected to inflict any amount of pain possible in order to subdue and inform the man of his transgressions.

40

Calling ‘Fives’

When vacating a seat for a short amount of time, the holder may announce ‘Fives’. If the word has been said before the ass leaves the pillow, the holder has up to five minutes to retain rights to the seat.

The owner of the seat may overrule this man code, but abuse of that power will lead down a path to the dark side, which eventually will leave that man stranded on the back seat hump during the next 5 hour road trip, so discretion is advised.

86

Cats and Dogs

Dogs are and shall always be man’s best friend.

Cats are plotting to kill you.

A dog is a man’s true companion. You will risk your life to save your dog’s, as he would do the same. He will be there when your woman leaves, when your car dies and when your team loses the Super Bowl by 1 point.

The cat is not a pet, it’s a mutineer, and it’s plotting to end your life as your sleep. Always keep a watchful eye.

68

Hot Girl Proximity

If you detect the presence of an attractive girl (7 or better), it is your duty and obligation to silently nudge your buddy and indicate.

No words are needed, just silent appreciation.

92

Wasting Beer

Beer may not be wasted in the name of fun, although splashing from drinking games like beer pong is acceptable.

First instance is requires a Tier 1 Penalty. Multiple infractions may require more severe recourse.

 

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