Gasoline costs shall be split evenly among those participating. The vehicle’s owner may be allowed to pass on a single contribution to the fuel fund in exchange for the use of his vehicle, but this must be agreed upon in advance.
A man’s zipper is his own business.
If by accident, you notice another man’s fly is down, you didn’t see anything. It was your imagination. You may never admit to even momentarily looking in the vicinity of another man’s Savannah.
Men who are forced to occupy close living quarters should not occupy the same bed. In all situations, the floor should be preferred.
However, if it becomes infeasible to do so, wearing sweat pants or other fully-covering garment of clothing is necessary.
A Best Man’s Toast shall not include any material that can be potentially harmful for the victim’s relationship with his family or new wife.
Stories that begin with statements such as “This one time in Vegas…”, “That was the first time he got crabs…”, etc. shall be very discouraged.
Punishment will be determined by a court of fellow men.
…aka falling on the grenade.
A man who is performing the wingman duty is obligated to entertain the designated ugly or fat friend (DUFF) of the girl his buddy is trying to score with.
This duty can range anywhere from buying a drink to leaving the bar with her.
Should one thing lead to another, and the wingman ends up hooking up with the DUFF, an immediate vow of silence is understood and the wingman shall never hear of it again.
A man must claim ignorance on the whereabouts of the fellow man when asked by his wife, girlfriend or significant other.
This law is intrinsic and automatically applies without having to be asked.
- A man may divulge a fellow man’s whereabouts in extraordinary situations including: natural disasters, personal emergencies, police intervention, etc.
- This rule is null and void if the fellow man is in considerable debt to the man under question: this includes significant monetary or beer debt. However, this exception only is applicable once per debt, and cannot be used again until the fellow man as accrued another debt.
Violation of a man’s trust requires a tier 4 penalty for first offense, but a more severe penalty may be required if significant repercussions occur by the divulging of information.
If you miss the high five on the first attempt, no re-attempt can be made in a manly way. Accept defeat and move on.
A man hug must meet the following conditions:
- Only one arm behind the back may be used.
- No more than 3 pats.
- No facial contact (preferably at least 3 inches of separation).
- No lingering.
- ABSOLUTELY no contented sighs.
Cheerleading is only a spectator sport.
A man shall spend no more time on the phone with a woman than he can have sex with her.
If you can make it 60 minutes, well then props to you, fellow man.