251

Girlfriend’s Pets

You must provide intermittent care for a girlfriend’s pets (feeding, etc.)

You are required to show small levels of affection for these animals despite how delicious Fluffy may look.

If the animal dies, you are also required to show sympathy for the loss, knowing that the girl will return the favor if you ever wreck your Chevy.

132

Tools

Tools: The more, the manlier. A man spends his extra money on tools.

Every man’s toolbox is custom for his interests and needs, but every man must have the following in his toolbox.

  • Duct tape – For when it moves but shouldn’t.
  • WD40 – For when it doesn’t move but should.
55

The Shoe Rule

It is punishable to ’shame’ someone who has passed out at a party, but only if their shoes are off.

If a man passes out with his shoes on, he has incorrectly factored the delicate balance of his sleep requirements, alcohol tolerance, and testicular fortitude. He is open to all forms of shaming – points added for creativity.

147

Hooking Up in a Friend’s Bed

Hooking Up in a friend’s bed is discourgaed.

If it happens, a complete washing of sheets is required.

90

Bathroom Etiquette

Two men may only exchange conversation in the bathroom when performing the same tasks, both peeing, both washing hands, etc.

When choosing a urinal, a man shall always attempt to leave at least one empty urinal between him and the next user. If this is impossible, it is still imperative that the man looks directly in front of him.

This is for safety’s sake, and echo’s the Zipper law.

402

A Friend’s Ex

A friend’s ex girlfriend is off limits unless any of the following conditions are met:

  • Verbal consent of the friend, witnessed by at least one other man.
  • The girl in question was involved with you prior to her interaction with the friend.
  • The friend has knowingly engaged in the pursuit of a woman you were interested in (retribution clause).

A man’s ex wife is completely off limits, punishable up to tier 7.

77

The 10 Minute Rule

When sharing a room with another man, there is always the possibility that he will bring a woman in to the room to fool around. This is always accepted, encouraged and praised.

When this is a possibility, a man must respect the 10 Minute Rule by knocking on the door. The man inside must indicate whether it is clear to enter. If no response is heard, a man must wait up to 10 minutes before unlocking the door and entering.

This favor must always be repayed.

This rule is void if the girl is your buddy’s girlfriend.

21

Eating Healthy

Contrary to some man code, eating healthy is not unmanly. You should take care of your body, exercise it and work to improve your manliness.

However, avoid these pitfalls:

  • When choosing a healthy eating option, do not verbally express your disgust. i.e. “Ew, McDonalds is so bad for you, lets go somewhere to get a salad.” This makes you a bitch.
  • When looking over a menu, you may not request tofu or soy substitutions in the presence of other men.
  • Salads are only manly if they contain something that used to have a face.
161

Long Phone Conversations

A man shall spend no more time on the phone with a woman than he can have sex with her.

If you can make it 60 minutes, well then props to you, fellow man.

39

Tying a Tie

A man will be able to tie a tie in less than a minute on the first attempt.

If a man is unable, he will practice in his leisure.

You may tie to your own specifications, but we advise knowing any of the following:

 

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