72

A Friend’s Beer and Temperature

A man has the right to stock the beer of his choice in his refrigerator.

No bitching will be permitted about another man’s choice of beer. This is inclusive of the man’s choice in bottles, kegs or cans.

Notable exeptions:

  • Bitching is accepted and encouraged if the said beer is not served at a proper temperatures:
    • Serve fruit beers at 40-50° F.
    • Serve wheat beers and pale lagers at 45-50° F.
    • Serve pale ales and amber or dark lagers at 50-55° F.
    • Serve strong ales, such as barley wines and Belgian ales, at 50-55° F.
    • Serve dark ales, including porters and stouts, at 55-60° F.
89

Road Trip Music

The radio is under complete control of the vehicles operator, but may be overruled by unanimous plea. Driver waives rights to music control should they ever play music that is deemed ‘not in the spirit of the road trip’ by the rest of those in the vehicle.

In the event of inability to agree on a radio station, the driver may elect that his own or another’s iPod may be used for music, but is also subject to overrule.

50

Road Trip Gasoline Expenses

Gasoline costs shall be split evenly among those participating. The vehicle’s owner may be allowed to pass on a single contribution to the fuel fund in exchange for the use of his vehicle, but this must be agreed upon in advance.

55

Road Trip Pit Stops

When on a road trip, major logistical decisions may be made by the driver of the vehicle. Decisions can only be overruled by the owner of the vehicle.

This includes food and urination breaks. However, should the driver abuse his power and the vehicle becomes soiled, the driver will take full responsibility. With this considered, it is prudent of a driver to use discretion and to be reasonable

129

Meat

Meat is manly, and all vegetarians may be excessively mocked under man code.

Rules to live by for men:

  • Refer to the steak laws.
  • Tofu shall never be a substitute.
  • Keep is simple – beer, steak sauce, salt and pepper are all good with beer, but Tabbouleh with finely chopped parsely is probably unmanly.
  • Meat shall always be grilled and/or cooked over an open fire.
  • It is encouraged to kill your own meat (your girlfriend’s cat inclusively).
279

DUFF – Designated Ugly/Fat Friend

…aka falling on the grenade.

A man who is performing the wingman duty is obligated to entertain the designated ugly or fat friend (DUFF) of the girl his buddy is trying to score with.

This duty can range anywhere from buying a drink to leaving the bar with her.

Should one thing lead to another, and the wingman ends up hooking up with the DUFF, an immediate vow of silence is understood and the wingman shall never hear of it again.

89

Use of a GPS Device

It has been determined in the past that use of a map is not acceptable by a code-following man. However, with the advent of portable GPS devices, a decision between the map rule and a man’s right to the use of his toys must be made.

So, unless agreed upon otherwise, the use of a GPS will be neutral and will not make the user appear less manly.

However, the ability to find a destination of over 50 miles away without the use of GPS will be a sign of great manliness and therefore, every man should strive to be an excellent navigator without the use of electronic devices.

42

Brand Logos

A man may not be seen with more than one clothing brand logo without endorsement.

This includes the logos of Nike, Hollister, AE, Airwalk, Adidas, etc.

This applies to clothing brands only, you are encouraged to display signs of your favorite beer or sports team whenever possible.

-50

Going Commando

A man may only go Commando if returning from something awesome. No exceptions.

40

Calling ‘Fives’

When vacating a seat for a short amount of time, the holder may announce ‘Fives’. If the word has been said before the ass leaves the pillow, the holder has up to five minutes to retain rights to the seat.

The owner of the seat may overrule this man code, but abuse of that power will lead down a path to the dark side, which eventually will leave that man stranded on the back seat hump during the next 5 hour road trip, so discretion is advised.

 

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